On Earth as it is in Heaven

Sometimes you just don't get the week you were expecting! Have you noticed that? Sometimes you start the week with a clear idea of where you are going and what you need to achieve and somewhere along the way it all falls apart. You get to the end of the week with practically the same to-do list but everything on it is 7 days more urgent... It has been one of those weeks! And in the middle of it I left the office late on Thursday and suddenly remembered that I hadn't been to vote. It was very tempting to just go home and fall into bed, but I do really believe that it is both my privilege and my responsibility as a Christian to use my vote.
The book I am studying this afternoon reminded me why.
"Some one might ask us how we propose to turn our Sunday prayers: Thy kingdom come...
Give us this day our daily bread... Deliver us from evil... into effective action without recognising the social and political implications of what we have prayed." (Hilton D, Table Talk,1998 p.54)
I'm not being party political when I say that all who seek to see the coming of God's kingdom should reflect prayerfully and use the influence they have to bring it about.

And I was much entertained by this photo posted on facebook by a friend of mine on election day

Allelulia Christ is RISEN

Holy Week and Easter Week are always such a busy time in church life and yet it is busy precisely because it is a time when we set aside time to prepare ourselves for Christ's death and resurrection.

To enter into the mystery of Easter is to travel joyfully in the Palm Sunday procession; hesitantly through the darkness of Maundy Thursday, the deep sorrow of Good Friday, and the stillness of Holy Saturday, and to step with confidence into the beautiful dawn of Easter Sunday.

This year my Easter journey has been blessed by a special Eucharist with the Bishop and other ordinands on Holy Wednesday, an all night vigil with a group of teenage friends on Maundy Thursday, the privilege of leading a Good Friday meditative service at my home church and a wonderful Easter morning service full of life and gratitude at St Mary's where we welcomed two new members to our church family in Baptism.

But the journey is doesn't end when we reach the Bank Holiday, or even when I go back to work tomorrow. As Jerome Berryman would say, Easter is such a great mystery that it cannot be kept to one day or even one week, but spills over into the coming weeks as we continue to live in the light of the Resurrection.

"This is the resurrection, that in his death we have come to know life and can freely offer our life to God."





I hope and pray that whatever you are doing and wherever you are each of you is having a peaceful and blessed Easter.

Spiritual Disciplines

The theme for our Easter School was Spiritual Disciplines and over the 6 days we looked at Prayer and Fasting, Thanksgiving and Celebration, Silence, Obedience and Submission, Sacrifice and Simplicity. Each theme was supported by academic study, practical work, Bible study small group discussion and worship.
Looking back over the week as a whole I have been thinking about how my life experience so far has shaped my understanding of these things and how they are shaping me and will shape my future ministry. I guess I am not alone in finding some easier than others, and I struggle with the way concepts like Submission and Sacrifice can be misrepresented and abused so that they become oppressive rather than life giving.

But I promised to say something about the discipline of silence...
I am not very good at it!
In fact, although I need and much appreciate silence space and stillness in my life, On Thursday I was in the very difficult position of being in a community of people who were spending the entire day (meals and all) in silence, on a day when what I wanted most to do was stomp and shout!
I have to add that shouting is something I do far less of than silence and stillness, however, not wanting to disturb other's silence I decided mid morning to put my walking boots on and take myself off for a long walk.
For the most part I did walk in silence and solitude and I spent half an hour in a beautiful village church in silent prayer.
So far so good, but then I climbed a tree and I spent half an hour sat in tree shouting my prayer very loudly - much to the surprise of a poor dog walker who must have thought I was completely crazy!

But,

The silence in which I climbed down the tree and walked the few miles back to School was far more profoundly peaceful following my shouting.
The following morning our Bible Study was 1 Kings 19. The story of the Lord coming to Elijah in the "still small voice" or as the New Century Version put it "a quiet gentle sound". (http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=1%20Kings%2019&version=NCV)

I wonder if Elijah would have noticed the that soft and silent presence had it not been in such contrast to the storm and commotion that went before? I wonder if I would have been able to enter so profoundly into God's presence on my walk back had I not also gone through the storm?
So I'd like to put in a plea for shouting as a spiritual discipline. Although I'd make the tree climbing optional...

The week that was: Easter School 2011

I am just back from Easter school. From lectures and inspiring Bible Study to group work, prayer, practical skills, a day spent in silent retreat (almost - more on that tomorrow...) and an amazing leaving party with the 3rd years; such a busy and thought provoking week needs far more digestion time than I have yet been able to give it but as I reflect on the experience over the coming days I will try to give you a flavour of what this has all been like.
Tonight all I can say is that I am exhausted and my head is still buzzing with new things.
We were asked to sum up our experiences of the week in small groups as TWEETs - short statements about 140 characters long.

My group wrote Being away, being together, just being.... being closer to God.
But I just loved the way another of the groups summed up the week:
"I AM was and we were still"!

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Easter School

Well I am sat in Starbucks having a coffee and making a mental list of everything I need to pack. Tomorrow after the APCM I am off to Easter School; a whole week secluded from the world to be with God and with other students. I'm looking forward with a combination of excitement and anxiety, to an exhausting mix of learning, worship, fellowship and hopefully fun. Given how tiring our weekend residentials are I suspect I will need to sleep for a week on my return!
As daunting as it seems I know that it is also a huge privilege to be able to take a week off work and spend quality time with God and with the others students who are also on this strange journey to ordination. It will be good too to get to know some of those students in the 2nd and 3rd year a little better. The year groups have different residential weekends so there are only a few occasions in the year when we all meet up but everyone attends Easter School together. Of those 2nd and 3rd years I have spoken to at seminars, the mere fact that they have survived their first year and have managed to walk the tightrope of study, church placement, work, family, life etc without plummeting to the ground is deeply reassuring!
I am also looking forward to spending more time with my small "&Co" group. It seems a long time since we were last together in February. Please think of us this week and pray for Anne, Irwin, Mark, Mary, Ness, and I - and especially for those 3rd year students as they prepare for their ordinations in just a few weeks time.



P.S. Found out yesterday I passed my second module - phew!

Why?

Like everyone I have watched with near disbelief as the images of the Japanese earthquake and tsunami have flashed across the TV screen. The scale of the destruction and loss of life is mind numbing. The continued threat to life and health, alarming. At the same time Comic Relief has highlighted the unnecessary suffering of people in Africa and across the world in a way that can't help but move us. It seems so injust, so unfair.
Why? Why do these things happen?
About 20 years ago I read Harold Kushner's book "When Bad things Happen to Good People". It's a book that changed my thinking and still challenges me today whenever I am faced with suffering in my own life or in the world. It reminds me that whatever happens, God is right here in the middle of it.
I don't have an answer to why these things happen but I do have a response.
"Why?" is not the right question. The real question is "How?" - How will I, how will you respond now that it has?

What does church mean to you?

A couple of weeks ago I asked everyone at church to help me with my Congregational Study by telling me what they think St Mary's would be if it were an animal, a film, a book, a game a colour of a food. Thanks to all of you who participated. The answers were both entertaining and enlightening!.. I'm going to put something up at the back of church about it this week but your responses told me some important things about St Mary's. A huge number of the responses were about community and the sense of family.
One likened it to horses who bond with each other, make strong friendships and give pleasure to others. Another said its film title would be The Family because that is what we are. It also highlighted how much we value the mixture of people, ages and cultures that make up this community... Like the Wizard of Oz - You meet some strange people on the way but it turns out you have things in common and good wins out! Or like a recipe book - a real mixture.

Others commented on the journey of faith we are all making; like Snakes and ladders - Sometimes you are up and other times down but always on the board, and the nourishment we recieve on the way; like risotto church is filling and fab church fills your soul!

But then again there was the response that simply said If my church were a film it would be the good the bad and the ugly - I leave you to draw your own conclusions...

This weekend STETS weekend so I have been cloistered away in Salisbury Cathedral precincts since Friday.

If you had to ditch one defining episode of church history which would it be and why? That was the challenge we were issued last night. Having spent the entire day looking at the significance and importance of five particular events, The Conversion of Constantine, The Council or Nicaea, the Great Schism (or split between the Roman (West) and Eastern Churches), the Reformation and the Enlightenment, we then held a balloon debate to decide which had the least influence on the church today and could therefore be unceremoniusly dumped over the side of our hot air balloon. I think some of our answers caused our lecturer's hair to turn grey but the exercise was deeply challenging as we tried to work out the implications of 2000 years of Church History for our doctrine and current faith and practice. Why is any of this important? It helps to remind us of the truth of the reading which began the weekend (Hebrews 11 and 12). We are surrounded by a cloud of witnesses who challenge, enlighten, inspire, and at times infurriate us but ultimately cheer us on as we strive towards the goal.

If you are interested in any of the church History I've refered to Wikipedia has some basic info, or ask me next time you see me (I'll try and remember!)

What's the point?

Well I've been quiet for a week or so whilst I struggled to get my latest MA assignment done - 4000 words on the Old Testament and poverty.  It went in yesterday but today I have been struck by so many things I would like to have included.  There are no second chances.  I can't go back and write into my essay the things I've seen and heard and realised today but then I guess that is the point.  This essay, all my essays are not intended to be simply an academic exercise for my classmates and I - they are meant to help change the way we think, the way we grapple with scripture, the way we interact with the world, as we prepare for ordination.    At the end of every module I am supposed to fill in a module review that says what I have learned from my studies, but what I learned doesn't fit neatly in the box! 

I hope my assignment makes the grade, but today I feel, whether it does or not, perhaps it has achieved its objective.

How do you fit an elephant in a car?

Essay time again.
When I said I was going to complete my training at STETS and work full time, my friends, the people who know me best and have a shrewd idea what training would entail, told me I was crazy! That's ok, I already knew that, and it is good preparation for weeks like this when the whole of life seems crazy.
Some days it feels like trying to fit in everything I have to do is as futile as trying to squeeze an Elephant into a Ford Ka - why would you even try?! But things still have to be done, and I'm told that nothing is impossible for God so with that in mind God grant me the serenity to accept the things I can't get done, energy to do the things I can and enough sense to work out which is which!

Routines!

This morning I was conscious of picking my way down a luggage strewn carriage to sit in my Favourite tube seat. It's not that I HAVE to sit there in fact I often don't but if it is free I will even swap seats half way through my journey to sit there. What creatures of habit we are! Ok so maybe liking the end tube seat on the right isn't such a bad habit but I know I have others less innocent... Still, I'm reassured! Today is the feast day of the conversion of St Paul proof that anyone can change no matter how set in their ways they are!

Life seems relentless. Some weeks it feels like I do nothing but work, study, eat and sleep, but yesterday I took a day off to walk in the Peak District near Buxton.  It was the most beautiful day. Cold crisp and clear. I doubt the temperature rose much above freezing all day and in places the frost was almost an inch thick but on the tops the sun was shining and the air was fresh. When I stopped, in the stillness, all that could be heard was the crackling of ice falling from the trees.
How easy it is to "find God" in such moments and places.  Not that God is ever absent, but sometimes life obscures the view.
The walk was hard and I can really feel it in my legs today!  But for all the exhaustion I feel refreshed.

News just in...

I passed my first module!

The consensus from my markers was that the first half of my essay certainly would have benefited from a better structure and a clearer presentation but the second part was much better, so overall I did OK!
Wow!

The new term has started! I am officially into my second term at STETS.
Last weekend was challenging, stimulating, fun and exhausting! I came away with a brain ache!
My &Co group were on duty this weekend which meant among other things that we were responsible for running the bar, so at least we had a legitimate excuse for being the last ones propping up the bar on Friday night. 

In class we looked at how theology is shaped and changed by its context.  We had a great drama presentation from the staff which illustrated how theologians such as Gregory of Nyssa, Calvin, and Moltmann re-engaged with the Bible and theology as a result of the social and cultural situations of their time.  Its exciting to think that we can always find new meaning and relevance in Scripture.

This month I'm studying the Hebrew Scriptures, in particular the ethics of the Old Testament. I'm just beginning to get my head around some of the key themes in the reading,  (which is just as well as the next assignment is due in four weeks).

The last few days have given me some space to reflect on the last year.  A year ago I was anxiously waiting for an appointment with the Bishop, and a date for my selection conference. I was embarked on a journey, hoping that I had heard the directions correctly but with no garuantee of the destination.  Since then I have survived the selection process, been recommended for training and completed my first term at college.  It has been a rollercoaster year but the ride has only just begun!